And yet there was still one barrier I was afraid of breaking. One that time upon time I wished I could just grow the balls and get on with.
That barrier was trousers, or more specifically, trousers that weren't baggy harems/jeans that cover a multitude of insecurities.
I've found blogging more effective than any mirror in building up my confidence and trying new things in terms of clothing. After seeing chinos around on many blogs and admiring how they looked on ALL shapes and sizes, I realised the only thing holding me back was myself and my perceived flaws.
I've been home around 6 months now and my body is still very alien to me, and I have major issues with seeing it how it really is... but on Saturday, shopping with Mum a pair of trousers in New Look jumped out at me. In a manner most unlike me, I decided to try them on; as a rule I don't try things on, I buy only what I know will fit or suit me.
I listened to Mum when she said they looked good, ignored the screaming demons in my head and purchased them.
Today I am wearing them, to work. I am NOT going to change as soon as this post goes up. Nor just before I leave for work.
I.AM.Going.To.Wear.These.Trousers.All.Damn.Day.
I'm a big believer in "fake it till you make it" when it comes to confidence. And if I wear these trousers as if I truly believe they look good/don't make me look like a stuffed sausage then I will (hopefully) start to believe it.
And I'm sorry, for the wordy nature of this post. I tried to get away from the heavier (so to speak) side of things when I came home- wipe the slate clean. But sometimes I have to share what's on my mind, document triumphs no matter how small they may seen...and if anyone can relate to this, and it has helped in any way, then that's even better. I don't feel a need to censor the real me from the blog, people can take it or leave it.
Do you have clothing items that you are fearful of?
How do you go about breaking down those boundaries?
xxx
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